Reddit’s well-known AITA (Am I The A**hole) forum is a place where people can ask strangers on the internet to weigh in on difficult situations in their lives and give their unbiased opinions on who they think was right or wrong. Unsurprisingly, family feuds often appear, as do tricky situations that arise around the big moments in life, such as weddings and birthdays.
But one user came to the forum in April 2019 with a particularly challenging situation. It concerned not only the birth of his child but also the death of his father. The original poster (OP) began his post by explaining he “had to make the hardest decision of (his) life.” He went on:
“My wife went into labor a few weeks earlier then (sic) expected and she ended up giving birth at the hospital. The day it happened she told me that she was in the hospital and needed me however I had just left the house an half hour prior to go see my father who was likely about to die (he did a few hours after i arrived). I decided to see my father one last time and i felt like it was more important than seeing my child’s birth because i will raise him and see him everyday for the next 18+ years and i really need to say some things to my father before he dies.”
Talk about a rock and a hard place! OP added that despite his incredibly tricky predicament, and his seemingly logical way of deciding how to handle it, his choice wasn’t appreciated by everyone he knew.
OP continued:
“My wife and the rest of her family are … p***ed at me and said that birth is one of the most important parts of our lives and i needed to be there to support my wife and see the child.”
He explained that obviously, he didn’t want to be caught in such a lose-lose position in the first place, but that he “felt seeing (his) father for the last time was important, especially since (he) hadn’t seen him in weeks and (they) weren’t on good terms then.” Thankfully, however, they managed to resolve their differences in that final meeting before his father passed. OP welcomed the unbiased opinions of strangers to better understand whether his choice was the right or wrong one.
The internet wasted no time weighing in with their thoughts on the matter. Overall, people felt that nobody was specifically in the wrong because of the nature of OP’s dilemma but that he made the right choice anyway. The top comment, which garnered over 15,000 upvotes, said:
“You needed to be there with your wife. You needed to be there with your dad. Literally a life and death situation. You could only be in one place. I understand why you chose to be at your father’s death bed. But you owe your wife big time, because birth isn’t about the baby as much as it is supporting your partner in the process.”
Another person replied to that comment: “Owing his wife big time means he did something wrong, He made the right choice, difficult as it was.”
Another user commented:
“This was very likely the hardest decision you will ever have to make. I don’t think there is even an answer for what the right thing to do was. Your wife was scared and needed you during labour, your father was dying and you wanted to see him one last time. You did what you could with an absolutely (terrible) scenario. You would have had regret no matter what choice you made.”
Although many people felt for the man and his “impossible situation,” others were sensitive to how his wife must have felt too. One person said:
“… your comment that you get to see your kid everyday for the next 18 years makes me understand why your wife is upset. Being there for the birth is not about the baby, but being there for your wife. You let her down. You may have had good reason for doing so, but by justifying it as ‘I get to see the kid everyday’ you are minimizing how your choice impacted her.”
Following how viral his post went, OP added to his original message and updated netizens as well as thanking them for weighing in on his situation as he appreciated their “support” amid the “hard time.” He added:
“My wife and i are on good terms but I’m still (having problems with) some of her family. She understands my predicament and doesn’t hold it against me.”
Thankfully, OP and his wife were able to sort things out, and despite it being an incredibly difficult situation, the majority of users felt that OP’s choice was understandable.
If it were you in OP’s place, what would you do? What’s the worst dilemma you’ve ever had to face? Let us know, then pass this on to those you know so they can weigh in too.
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